2016/2017 Office Fantasy Football League

The Wet Fish-Slap of Reality    It's that time of the year when Our Most Gracious Chairman has been too busy checking his MySpace profile and forgets that the season might be running out of weeks.  The usual flailing arms and panicked head-scratching would indicate that He's forgotten to schedule the OFFL Cup within enough weeks to play it. So this year [if you can imagine it] OMG Chairman was flicking the doughnut crumbs off his continually ballooning belly, and about to plunge into a beautiful snooze, when the wet fish of reality slapped him harshly across the face.  Convulsing with panic, he vaulted into the green leather chair of his bureaux followed by the dragging of a chubby little finger down a column of dates in his Danii Minogue calendar while his tongue apprehensively clings to the outside of his upper lip. "Ah," he thinks with relief "that could have been embarrassing" The moment passes and he mops his brow with a polka dot hankie. And thus... -

Mike Smears is only just in the Top Ten Bit of a shuffle at the top this week with Dave Clayton's long-time leaders, Pyeators, slipping down yet another place in the League. Current leaders Neil's Diamonds continue for another week at the top with a increased lead of 7 points.  Bielby's Livercoolio fall to Fourth, a few steps away from the dream of winning a third OFFL title in four years. Manager of the Week , distressingly for all of us, is the decrepitly aged and calculatingly cantankerous Mike Smears.  His Irishpool pulled in a dastardly brilliant 18 points to push themselves up seven places into Ninth. A walking stick's ferrule away from being outside the top ten. Meanwhile... ======== OFFL Cup -------- QUARTER FINALS, RESULTS Week 36              RS-TBOY  7 v  6 Moobchester United        Rick Beecroft         Jon King     Starpratt Mustgo 10 v 11 Moreton Rovers Malcolm Meaden-Pratt         Edgar Rayner       Inter Milandrover 15 v  1 The Flying Geese            

The Race for the Title:  Wide Open. Neil McConaghy has just blown the title race wide open.  Which sounds a bit dramatic, we know, but there you have it.  What would YOU do if you had to write this tedious drivel every week? 23 points pushes Neil's Diamonds into top spot with Dowds Farm Goblins keeping up with the pace and sneaking into Third after scoring an even more impressive 25 points. Manager of the Week , however and with a bulgingly fecund score of 36 points, is one Alex Blundell. There is only one Alex Blundell. His Moanchester United rocket up, past the 300-point mark, into Twelfth. Meanwhile, from 1730hrs Monday 10th April 2017, the OFFL Cup Quarter Finals are in play. So, who's zooming who? ======== OFFL Cup -------- QUARTER FINALS, to be played over Week 36              RS-TBOY v Moobchester United        Rick Beecroft   Jon King     Starpratt Mustgo v Moreton Rovers Malcolm Meaden-Pratt   Edgar Rayner       Inter Milandrover v The Flying Geese              Smashe

Craig McHugh McScrimgeour becomes Manager of the Week this week as his Game of Throw Ins smack up a nice little 20 pointage piece which lifts themselves up five places into Fourteenth. Meanwhile, at the top of the table The Jostle continues cutting a dash on the dancefloor with the perturbably flappable participants Bielby, Clayton, Smasher and now McConaghy all linking arms and high-kicking for the top spot.  Though, currently looking a little weary, and as if he's about to make an excuse about going to the bar to have a sit down, is Smasher who has become the first Manager this season to use up all his transfers.   As if that's an achievement. Shall we have another cup round? Yes. ======== OFFL Cup -------- QUARTER FINALS, to be played over Week 36              RS-TBOY v Moobchester United        Rick Beecroft   Jon King     Starpratt Mustgo v Moreton Rovers Malcolm Meaden-Pratt   Edgar Rayner       Inter Milandrover v The Flying Geese              Smasher   Mandy Noble