2016/2017 Office Fantasy Football League

Imagine the noise of the wind. *Tumbleweed* [Jon King is this week's Manager of the Week .  His Moobchester United wobbled in 23 points and pushing themselves together and up, back into the top ten cleavage of the League.] [Will the Pyeators still be top of the Table next week? And if not, which of the approaching challengers will replace them?] And just a reminder... ======== OFFL Cup -------- ROUND TWO, to be played over Week 31      Guess Hughton  v  Moreton Rovers          Nick Reed     Edgar Rayner         The Flying Geese  v  Minty's Minions        Mandy Noble     Minty Colquhoun    Dowds Farm Goblins  v  Toby's Gang       Nick Borrett     Toby Larking            RS-TBOY  v  Moanchester United      Rick Beecroft     Alex Blundell      ...

Donald Top Trump:  Looking up at the rest of the teams while 'alternative facting' about his bottomness The Trumpeteers' press secretary, Sean "Nothing But The Truth" Spicer, used his first OFFL press briefing to attack the "irresponsible and reckless" Studmarks over what he called "deliberately false reporting" around the current league position of the current bottom-placed team of WASPs. Contradicting all available evidence - i.e. the total number of points accrued by Donald 'Top' Trump's team - he insisted the fluffy-haired narcissist's league position was actually the "toppest ever league position ever to have been witnessed in the world ever, period" and suggested that Studmarks "intentionally mucked around" with their points-harvesting algorithm to make the current league ranking of the Tumpeteers appear altitudinally poor. With his 'Sniper's Delight' hairstyle, the alternative fact-spoutin...

With the help of Mike Smears History, they say, is written by the victorious.  And as with most snappy little epithets, the OFFL comprehensively counters with a Chris. Yes, Obi Wan Kenobi Nil are making history after yet another week of negativity and a Week 16 point total that's never been so low for the League.  What Mr Walsh is wistfully gruntling about down there is anyone's guess but we can speculate it might be something along the lines of 'if only I could submit my team again'.  To which the OFFL rules suggest he bloody well can.  In time for the OFFL Cup? For anyone suffering from our recent turbulent times, succour can be secured from Mike Smears' thoughts on a potential new team.  He writes... "I think that in keeping with these desperate times, you should include a team named after Donald Trump. The team would remain at the foot of the league because, although its defence would be solid, having built a wall across the penalty area, it would be compo...

Beecroft after Week 1's results Again, the OFFL Table's top spot is accompanied by the Manager of the Week certificate.  Indeed, this week it's the former BBC Presenter, music impresario and old bugger [convicted] Jonathan King.  Currently out on bail until October, King has elevated his Moobs into top spot with a score of 22 points. And while we, here at Studmarks, pat ourselves smugly on the back for hauling out the same old inappropriate Jon/Jonathan King references, the actual Jon King (OFFL Manager, former Emsworthian and accountant at the Kenwood Corporation) snortingly rolls his eyes while quietly toeing the unopened Notice of Intended Prosecution envelope under the sideboard. Firmly in Jon's managerial shadow is the moanful Alex Blundell and his Moanchester United.  Mr Blundell, whose convictions for indecent assault remain undisclosed, hasn't been this high in the table since his Rufuscester took the title in 1997. Heady days indeed. And while we're o...