2016/2017 Office Fantasy Football League

Donald Top Trump:  Looking up at the rest of the teams while 'alternative facting' about his bottomness The Trumpeteers' press secretary, Sean "Nothing But The Truth" Spicer, used his first OFFL press briefing to attack the "irresponsible and reckless" Studmarks over what he called "deliberately false reporting" around the current league position of the current bottom-placed team of WASPs. Contradicting all available evidence - i.e. the total number of points accrued by Donald 'Top' Trump's team - he insisted the fluffy-haired narcissist's league position was actually the "toppest ever league position ever to have been witnessed in the world ever, period" and suggested that Studmarks "intentionally mucked around" with their points-harvesting algorithm to make the current league ranking of the Tumpeteers appear altitudinally poor. With his 'Sniper's Delight' hairstyle, the alternative fact-spoutin

Miss Colquhoun currently enjoying smartphone technology Minty 'Posh Bint' Colquhoun is, with a massive haul of 32 points, this week's Manager of the Week .  This statistical outlier of a score from the reigning Champions has propelled Minty's Minions up five places into Fifteenth - not quite ridding themselves of the burden of analogy with this season's Premiership's Leicester City but it's a move in the right direction nevertheless. If scores continue to progress in this manner, The Mighty Posh Bint Mint will be fighting former colleague Nick Bouncy Borrett for the title. Ah, that cheered us up. Seriously though, well done.  It's no mean feat to have achieved such a high score while, as the grapevine carries it, breaking in your first ever smartphone.  In fact, Our Most Gracious Chairman would like us to sincerely thank you for the thirty-eight blank text messages that were received from you on Thursday morning.  3 O'Clock in the morning. That's

Well, here's to a less exciting 2017, eh? The exception being.... ============ The OFFL Cup ------------ ROUND ONE, Wk21 & Wk22 Pyeators               23 v  34 Toby's Gang It's A Snickers         9 v  36 Inter Milandrover Crystal Phallus        41 v  28 Absolutely Fabregas Neil's Diamonds        29 v  29 Starpratt Mustgo* Guess Hughton          43 v  33 Radnorshire Tigers Johnny's Heroes        22 v  45 RS-TBOY Minty's Minions        22 v  19 Irishpool Sheep City             26 v  37 Epic Yellowz Game Of Throw Ins      23 v  54 Dowds Farm Goblins Shutdown FC            36 v  31 Big Girl's Blouses Moobchester United     43 v  33 Livercoolio Moanchester United     25 v  13 Roll all the dice FC Bourneslippy           25 v  32 The Flying Geese Moreton Rovers         15 v  13 Ali McMoist Obi Wan Kenobi Nil     28 v     Through The Trumpeteers        -8 v     Through *Winner is Starpratt Mustgo on PpP Congratulations to Toby Larking, Smasher, Guy Salter, Malco

Nick Borrett and his 39 pints Manager of the Week for the third time this season is Nick Borrett.  His Dowds Farm Goblins gulped back 39 pints this Christmas week.  Points.  We meant 39 points. How did the first half of the OFFL Cup fixtures go then? ============ The OFFL Cup ------------ First Round, Half Time           Pyeators  12 v  28 Toby's Gang    It's A Snickers   9 v  23 Inter Milandrover    Crystal Phallus  30 v  19 Absolutely Fabregas    Neil's Diamonds  14 v  13 Starpratt Mustgo      Guess Hughton  25 v  22 Radnorshire Tigers    Johnny's Heroes  12 v  28 RS-TBOY    Minty's Minions  14 v  22 Irishpool         Sheep City  17 v  21 Epic Yellowz  Game Of Throw Ins  18 v  39 Dowds Farm Goblins        Shutdown FC  27 v  15 Big Girl's Blouses Moobchester United  31 v  17 Livercoolio Moanchester United  12 v   6 Roll all the dice FC       Bourneslippy  16 v  27 The Flying Geese     Moreton Rovers   3 v  14 Ali McMoist Obi Wan Kenobi Nil  18 v  Through    Th