2016/2017 Office Fantasy Football League

HRH QE2: Cancelled all OFFL Engagements When nine teams earn their respective managers a Manager of the Week certificate you know it's not a high-scoring week. Dave Clayton, Russell Bielby, Malcolm Meaden-Pratt, Nick Borrett, Rick Beecroft, Toby Larking, Karyn Meaden-Pratt, Minty Colquhoun and Craig McHugh all tear a piece off a needlessly over-sized Manager of the Week certificate. It wasn't presented to them by a conspicuously absent HRH QE2 at a disappointing ceremony at Buckingham Palace.  3 points.  Each. On to the Cup First Round. ============ The OFFL Cup ------------ Round One, Wk 21            Pyeators  v  Toby's Gang     It's A Snickers  v  Inter Milandrover     Crystal Phallus  v  Absolutely Fabregas     Neil's Diamonds  v  Starpratt Mustgo       Guess Hughton  v  Radnorshire Tigers     Johnny's Heroes  v  RS-TBOY     Minty's Minions  v  Irishpool          Sheep City  v  Epic Yellowz   Game Of Throw Ins  v  Dowds Farm Goblins         Shutdown FC  

Happy Christmas to Mr and Mrs Salter What a week?!  In fact, it's been more of a weeeeeek!  And with the usual Christmas chaos breaking out all around us it's no wonder Our Most Gracious Chairman is feeling a little sore-headed.  Of course, it doesn't help matters when He can't find his extra-large-and-saggy-waisted-velcro-fastened feasting pantaloons. And that's why there's still no sign of a Christmas bonus turning up for the OFFL HQ Umpa-Lumpas. It appears that, like our Boxing Day toilet seat approach, we're going to have to crack-on. Crystal Phallus have launched themselves into Third using the ' Manager Of The Week ' certificate-winning trebuchet of 38 points.  Manager Guy Salter is clearly looking a bit nervous about this as he's just realised that for the first time in his marriage he is actually one step ahead of his wife, Sarah Bingbong. That's one family's happy Christmas that's destined to remain desperately quixotic.  St

Dave Clayton's Airing Cupboard In a week full of crazy league changes, one thing remains the same... Pyeators are top and extending their lead. Yes, Dave Clayton's chaps currently enjoy a safety buffer of 28 points largely thanks to a lack of bed-linen laundry requirements. There have been so many clean sheets that the percentage of points from his defence is 27% better than the next best defensive team of Dowds Farm Goblins. Realising, mid-yawn, that no-one in their right mind and with better things to do with their lives, is EVER NEVER EVER going to question a stat like that, we might try to pitch in a few more preposterous percentages per post perhaps.  But no more for this edition, eh? Meanwhile, and surprisingly, Pyeators has just the seventh best attack in the League... Go on, have a gander why not?... Points Scored from Midfielders and Strikers ------------------------------------------- Week 18                                                 Points PosTeam            

Manager of the Week this week is the mighty Neil McConaghy who picked up 26 phat points for his Neil's Diamonds who are soaring into Third.  Meanwhile the newly entered Trumpeteers sees Donald Trump sawing [through the floor] into Thirtieth with minus 1. At the top of the table there's a bit of a gap showing between First and Second places with Dave Clayton's Pyeators outscoring Moanchester United by 8 points this week. T h e   T a b l e                                             Value Points    Team                 Manager             (GBPm)Wk Tot  --------------------------------------------------------  1 Pyeators             Dave Clayton         55.0 22 181  2 Moanchester United   Alex Blundell        54.9 14 164  3 Neil's Diamonds      Neil McConaghy       53.9 26 163  4 Inter Milandrover    Smasher              54.7 13 157  5 Starpratt Mustgo     Malcolm Meaden-Pratt 55.0 17 149  6 Absolutely Fabregas  Sarah Bingham        55.0 -1 147  7 Epic Yellowz         Stan