2016/2017 Office Fantasy Football League

With the help of Mike Smears History, they say, is written by the victorious.  And as with most snappy little epithets, the OFFL comprehensively counters with a Chris. Yes, Obi Wan Kenobi Nil are making history after yet another week of negativity and a Week 16 point total that's never been so low for the League.  What Mr Walsh is wistfully gruntling about down there is anyone's guess but we can speculate it might be something along the lines of 'if only I could submit my team again'.  To which the OFFL rules suggest he bloody well can.  In time for the OFFL Cup? For anyone suffering from our recent turbulent times, succour can be secured from Mike Smears' thoughts on a potential new team.  He writes... "I think that in keeping with these desperate times, you should include a team named after Donald Trump. The team would remain at the foot of the league because, although its defence would be solid, having built a wall across the penalty area, it would be compo...

Clayton and Borrett sharing the Week's spoils Well, I suppose the trend continues with a Manager of the Week Certificate accompanying top spot but this time it is to reaffirm superiority, not steal it. Extending his lead at the top of the table from 1 point to 14 points, Dave Clayton is [joint] Manager of the Week after scoring 16 points with his Pyeators.  He shares the certificate with Nick Borrett whose Dowds Farm Goblins climb three places to land in sixth. Happy Birthday, by the way, for Tuesday for Mike Smears.  Another uncountable year older, another telegram from the Queen. What Ho! McHugh? Minus 4 points.  Giggle.  Everyone stare at him.  Point.  Laugh.  He's down two places.  [Is that all?] T h e   T a b l e                                             Value Points    Team             ...

Dave Clayton has the best defence Dave Clayton and the very wealthy Donald Trumpet have a lot in common.  If Mr Trumpet, for example, was to be arrested and charged with a crime he did not commit, we are certain that he would also have the best defence around. That forced comparison edges us closer to our point, yes, 55 points have been amassed by Dave Clayton's Goalkeeper, his Full Backs and his Centrebacks combined which has contributed to the Pyeators' overall table-topping total of 133 points.  This takes The Clayt, as he probably isn't known by his friends, to the Number One spot in the League AND earns him that special, albeit specious, comparison with the newly elected leader of the 'Free World'. Joint Manager of the Week , Alex Blundell, shuffles and whinges his way into Second by steering his Moanchester United to a large weekly haul of 23 points. He shares the Manager of the Week certificate with latecomer and former OFFL Champions Sheep City's manag...

The Chairman: listening out for tintinnabulation  We thought this nonsense had stopped.  We hinted as much in the last edition of Studmarks.  But, clearly, it hasn't... Another Manager of the Week certificate win, another new team at the top. 29 points this week sees Smasher lodged up in the League's loftiest of locales, oh lumme. This must mean we have a very tight league this season.  Certainly in these early stages - and when we say early, we're ignoring the fact that we're already playing out Week 13.  Gosh.  Week 13, eh?  It'll be OFFL Cup soon and OMG Chairman hasn't even managed to source an appropriate prize yet. And, cupping a hand to our ear, we theatrically ask "what's that?"  Can we hear the faint jingle-jangle of seasonal tintinnabulation a-tinkling in the chinkling chilly distance?* *All words in this sentence actually probably exist. In the meantime... highest climbers are Mr Bielby's Livercoolio [up 8 into Fourteenth] while ...