2016/2017 Office Fantasy Football League

Russell Bielby has dropped his transfer trousers a little early this season In the City today, Markets have rallied after this week's early signs of stability have encouraged an increase in Player trading activity. Indeed, our leader from last week is our leader this week.  Absolutely Fabregas.  Such consistency marks them out as an official Title Contender no doubt, leaving others to work out a strategy to keep up.  And when we say 'others' we exclude Mike Smears and his Irishpool who signal their ascendency by swiping the Manager of the Week certificate.  A score of 22 points see them hobble into twenty-third. No, when we say 'others' we mean people like Russell Bielby.  He has just called in sick for work after injuring his fingers while panic-typing his latest knee-jerk reaction transfer requests. Who else is dropping their transfer trousers a little early this season? Transfer Trouser Dropping Table                 ...

Snoozing, losing, Blundelling. Another Week , another Manager of the Week, another new top spot occupant.  What the bleedin' bloody blazes is going on?! Sarah Bingham's Absolutely Fabregas climbed an astonishing seventeen places after they earned her this week's Manager of the Week Certificate by scoring an absolutely fabregas 29 points. So what happened to Alex Blundell's Moanchester United? Well, they fell eight places after scoring zero - they snoozed, they loozed.  It's Craig McHugh's Game Of Throw Ins who fall furthest this week, however: a score of 3 points and a fall of eleven places.  Russ Bielby's Livercoolio fall ten. Meanwhile, newcomer Mike Smears had a good start this week with 22 points while current Champions, Minty's Minions, are keeping up with the pace in Fifth, only four points off the top.  Not bad for an ol' gal, eh? See you next week. T h e   T a b l e                         ...

Mike Smears, in his youth. Well, we say 'two NEW teams' but they're actually being managed by two old managers. In one instance we mean old as in 'not a stranger' while in the other instance we mean 'not a stranger' and just plain OLD. Yes, indeed, welcome back the mature, experienced and noble womanly woman of a woman, Not-A-Man-dy Noble.  And welcome back also to the OFFL's very own Bruce Forsyth, Mike Smears. Yes, yes, welcome back both. Ooh, what's this?  A rant from expert OAP in cantankery, Mr Mike Smears... Esteemed Dr Mr President I am outraged. I left you with strict instructions last year to suspend the start of the new season until I returned from my hard work on the beaches of France. This year has been especially strenuous.  Then I return and find that not only have you started but that some young managers have sprinted away with hundreds of points.  I demand that you revert every other team to zero: and that my players can gain points r...

The genius behind England's majestic dominance of footballing giants Slovakia. While Big Sam Allardyce has cruelly reminded us of why his application for the job of England manager was rejected last time around, we are also reminded that the Office Fantasy Football League can be a cruel place too. As soon as the aroma of hope wafts itself up some poor unsuspecting manager's nostrils, that manager gets given the foul-stenching, full-nappied baby of despair to hold and drop. Big Sam: Dodgy tash and a funny salute? Now, while Studmarks would love you all to write in and suggest how the above metaphor should be graciously side-stepped and forgotten, we would also like to slip back into frame the point we were trying to make. And that point is Moobchester United. The former League leaders have been mercilessly knocked off the top by losing 5 points this week and collapsing fifteen places down the table into sixteenth.  Unprecedented.  Deserves a certificate of some sort in itself. ...